Days of Thrones

Or Tweet #102, the Director’s Cut.

Regarding George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series, I recently tweeted that Bran chapters are like Mondays. Why not run a good analogy into the ground by comparing each day of the week to a different Game of Thrones POV? Warning: this post is slightly spoilerish.

Sunday = Jon Snow
Sunday begins the week, but is also apart from the week. Nearly every GOT book begins with a scene from beyond the Wall, and it seems like we’re supposed to believe that the White Walkers are going to become the saga’s Big Bad. But for the most part, Jon and his crew have been isolated from the holdfasts and whorehouses where the REAL story is happening.

Monday = Bran
Ugh. Please end already.

Tuesday = Cersei
Survey says that Tuesday is the most productive day of the week, and when it comes to the goings-on at King’s Landing, Cersei Lannister is a narrative workhorse. There’s a lot of plodding—oops, should I have said ‘plotting?’—in her chapters, which sometimes makes them more utilitarian than enjoyable.

Wednesday = Arya
Wednesday is hump-day, and this lil’ Stark humps around the kingdoms, never really getting where she wants to go. Also, she has the wits and personality of a hump. Not a big fan of this character. (Although HBO’s Arya, Maisie Williams, did deliver several awesome, heartbreaking moments in the pivotal “The Rains of Castamere” episode.)

Thursday = Sansa
So what does Sansa have to do with Thursdays? Well, Thursdays are pretty good. By Thursday everyone is chugging along in a solid groove. We’re almost to the end of the week, but we’re not quite to Friday. Similarly, Sansa chapters provide solid entertainment and provide close glimpses into flashier characters, like Joffrey and Littlefinger. I like that Sansa is not the stereotypical ‘plucky teenage underdog’ that we see in fantasy novels. She’s more flawed and relatable and seemingly very expendable. Expendable = tension = good. What does all that have to do with Thursdays? I don’t know! What do you want from me? Let’s move on.

Friday = Daenerys
TGIF! I may be in the minority, but I am still most excited to see this name at the beginning of a new chapter break. Assassins and barbarians and warlocks and gladiators and prophecies and suitors and spies and more harem-pants than a MC Hammer video. All of this exotic weirdness is brilliantly augmented by two stiff white guys (Sers Jorah and Barristan) who are mainly there to cock their eyebrows and kick ass.

Saturday = Tyrion
What happens on Saturdays? Parties, fiestas, road trips, weddings, awkward family reunions, sporting, and hook-ups. Tyrion chapters have all of these things and some pig-jousting for good measure. Tyrion has often changed roles and locales and supporting characters throughout the series, so his storyline has a sense of freshness and freedom to it. Kinda like a Saturday afternoon.

So there’s my list. Maybe for an encore I’ll compare some of GOT’s ‘non-playable characters’ to national holidays. Which maester best represents Arbor Day? Who will stand as a symbol of the Autumnal Equinox? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

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